Wednesday Night

I am sitting at home alone.. listening to Johnny Cash.

Tonight, I went to pick up the boys, and they weren't there. I knocked on the door and then talked to the neighbor. I thought.. it might be a good idea to have a witness, then I went across the street and talked to the other neighbor, but they are too afraid of my ex wife and her family, they didn't know if the boys were there.. They too keep thier distance from that family.

So, I spent some time with my fiancee and I didn't get upset.. what can I do? I am not going to let that bitch, fuck (excuse me) with my emotions anymore.. What she is doing will come back to her.. I do believe in Karma and I believe that the boys know what is happening. If I go to pick up the boys and they are not there on Friday.. then so be it.. that's what is going to happen.

I know, you can call me a quitter. I should fight for the time with my boys, but you know what this is about? It's about me bringing the boys back early last week. I thought it might be better for them. They are the sweetest boys.. and I love them, and I do wish that I had a few hours with them tonight to hear about their week at school, or so they could tell me about what is new in thier lives... but I also know that my ex wife has taught them not to tell me anything.. If they do.. they will get trouble. So, those dinners on Wed.. really aren't much at all, except a chance to see each other.

That's all.. and this week... tonight.. we didn't see each other.. but Hopefully I am still in their hearts... as they are in mine.