the week

The week with the boys

There are some things that I don't write about here.. things that I guess I feel are too personal, well.. my week with the boys has been nice. Everything went well with them.. Alex and Andy slipped right into the life we had this summer. Right now, they are in their room playing. Andy made a model and today we carved a pumpkin for halloween.. we put braces on it with paperclips. Alex has braces now.

I can't talk about the other stuff...let's just say that my entire life has been about pleasing others.. and when they are not happy it eats at me. pleasing the boys, pleasing my parents, pleasing people at work.. and of course pleasing my wife.. sometimes it is not possible to do all at the same time. In the past, I have tried to balance it all out.. giving me headaches.... and in the end only doing a half ass job of making anyone happy, including myself. This week, I have spent time with the boys.. I didn't want the week to go by and then feel as if I missed an opportunity to be with them. I had to work late for two days and hardly saw them on those days. Tomorrow, I get on a plane and head out to my annual conference.. I will be gone for 1 full week. Well.. I won't say anymore, but I hate conflict in my life.... more than anything that eats at me most of all. I want to keep everyone happy. I know that is my number one problem, but in a way, that makes me who I am. I have given it a lot of thought.. I can't change some things.. one is my love for my boys and my wish to be with them.. afterall, I only see them for less than 7 weeks a year and then there is my job that causes me to travel and be away..and of course, my love for my wife, my travel and my time with my boys cause me to neglect my wife and not give her the attention that she would like. So, i don't make eveyrone happy...

and I am at a loss..

well.. that's it.. I am going back to spending time with the boys today. I hope we get the chance to go bike riding. It is a beautiful day today.