Alex- I have talked to him about the possiblity of living with me full time and he doesn't really want to talk about it.  He tries to change the subject, when confronted he tells me that he wouldn't want that, he doesn't want to change, he likes what he has now.  I know that he has the hardest time with me because some of the values that I try to instill in him are contradictory to what he is told at his mother's house.  For example, I have told him that life is going to be much more enjoyable if you look for those things that are good and exciting rather than being critical and find fault and bad.  I guess I focus on that because my ex inlaws and my ex wife build themselves up by bringing everyone else down.  To me, that is no way to live.  Alex struggles with this and after 5 weeks, I see that he is starting to understand, however... he still loves to point out faults in just about everything.  Alex would truly be traumatized by a move, he is almost 12 and his life has revolved around his grandmother.  I see him enjoying himself, but he won't be sad when he leaves on Saturday.

Andy- Andy is not like Alex at all.  I am not sure, but I would guess that he recieves very little attention at his mother's house.  He isn't like his Alex, he likes rap and Viva la Bam and he wants to skateboard and play with GI joes and go camping and play football and ride his bike.  Alex wants to build models and doesn't like playstation because he says "it warps his mind" I am sure he heard that from his grandmother.  Andy would love to live with me full time.  He says that he would miss his cat, and I told him.. "what if your cat could come to live with us?" and he said, "well,  what about visiting my cousins, if we live in Oklahoma, we'll never see them"  I didn't want to remind Andy that his mother won't let him see his cousins anyway and actually he would see them much more, because they would come to visit.  Andy and I have talked quite a bit during the past 5 weeks.  He told me that he was very angry with me for moving, he said that sometimes he hates me, sometimes he misses me.  Andy said that he doesn't want to go back on Saturday.  At night when I hug and kiss the boys before they go to bed, I have to ask Alex to hug me.. Andy hugs me now and doesn't want to let go, he kisses me on the cheeks a couple of times.  I leave them and then for the past couple of nights have come back and said "Hey, it's extra goodnights!"  and hug them again and give them one more kiss good night.  Andy says back.. "Extra goodnight to you too Dad" Andy wants a full time Dad... he always has wanted me to be in his life fulltime.. he is angry when I am not.  

If the boys were asked in court... if they wanted to come live with Dad.. Alex would say no, Andy woul do what his brother says.. because even though they are different.. they look out for each other, even though they fight.  Sometimes I see Andy purposely lose a game to Alex, so Alex can feel good.  Andy knows that he could win if he wanted to,  Andy loves his brother and would not leave him.  Alex wouldn't really be answering that question because he is afraid of his mother anymore.  He would answer it because he knows that Dad's life makes him feel uncomfortable.