I know

I agree that I really do have my head in the sand at times. I am hungry for happiness, but I also know that my fiancee loves me.. not my life.. not my family, not my boys. So, the best I can do is hope that she is able to handle it all... but maybe she can't. That is very scary for me... I mean to find someone that you love so much, but to know that there will be times when it will be so hard. I don't know what to do. Yesterday, I said that I keep everyone apart. That really isn't true.. I try... I invite her over, I ask her to come over and be with us, but she has things to do. The truth is, she didn't do anything this weekend. We talked about it last night, she doesn't know if she is ready to get married.. she is nervous. She doesn't know if being nervous is natural or if she should be worried. I am worried, because.. inside, I wish she was excited to be getting married. I wish she was looking forward to that day, but she isn't.. no.. she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but she doesn't know how. I am sad today

Maybe I am a fool.