Broken teeth

This evening when I got home there was a message on my answering machine. It was my ex wife. She told me that Andy, my 7 year old fell down playing and chipped both of his front teeth. She didn't say when, or how, or of course she really didn't want to talk to me at all. If she did she wouldn't have called me at home at 2:30pm, she would have called me at work. She then went on to start an accusatory tone about how I should do my duty and pay for Andy's teeth. He needs caps and other dental work, she sounds like she is accusing me of never wanting to help Andy or to do anything to help.

I don't know Andy's dentist, and I don't trust my ex wife. She was saying how Andy needs this done right away..and told me not to call her lawyer and not to call her, just to pay for Andy.

How f***ing frustrating (I am sorry, but right now I am furious). I called to speak to the boys, sure she could have picked up the phone. Instead, I will have to call her lawyer tomorrow, or send him a fax and then call the Bar association and speak to that guy that told me he would help if I can't get in touch with her lawyer.

I want to hug Andy.. I want to see if he is ok... I want to know what happened. These aren't his baby teeth and the poor little boy will need caps or something..

I also don't trust my ex wife.. no money is going to her.. I am going to find out who the denist is, somehow. I know this sounds so awful, but all she talked about on that phone message was money.. money.. money.. money... I really Hate her and I don't like to use that word at all.

It took me awhile to calm down. I paced around my house. I can feel my own front teeth being chipped and how Andy must feel. When did this happen?

I called her lawyer today.. and I was put on hold for 5 minutes only to be told that he was on a conference call. I didn't know about this yet.. I just wanted to make sure of the schedule.. I want to have something in writing. If she is going to change the night that I have dinner with the boys.. then I want it in writing.

Andy has two broken teeth.. that is all I know. I don't know how bad.. I don't know who to call to find out.




Can you believe that I asked the judge.. right in court .. I told him that "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE BOYS DOCTORS OR DENTISTS ARE!!!!" what did he say.. he said "that is something that you can talk about in mediation. Oh and I forgot to mention that on Friday, I picked up my mail and I got a notice from the clerk of the court that my mediation day was set for 2:30pm on August 7th. It was postmarked August 8th... luckily I went home early on Friday or my weekend would have been full of little panics that I missed a meeting. I called and they admitted their mistake.

Poor Andy

What was the purpose of her call? She wants to take the blame off of herself. I don't blame her. I hope it was just an accident.. things happen.. but that isn't it. I know how she is, I lived with her for 13 years. This is about blame. She wants to put some blame on me.. her acusatory tone was about money.. because she knows that I can't afford to pay for everything right now.. it must be expensive.

I don't know if anyone can really understand right now. I have this anger and this feeling of pain inside. Anger towards my ex wife, because everything is about setting blame to someone. She can't take responsiblity for her own mistakes in life. It will be my fault if Andy's teeth aren't right.. I know that is how she will rationalize this.

Poor Andy... I love him so much... he has two teet that stick right out like bugs bunny. When he was a baby, he was running around and one day he slipped and fell and chipped one of his baby teeth. My ex wife went crazy.. "WHY WEREN'T YOU WATCHING HIM!!" All I could think of was how I was the first to get to him.. I almost caught him as he was falling.. where was she? I said I was sorry.... then.. about 2 weekends later... I was upstairs and came down to hear Andy crying.. he had slipped again.. and she was holding him.. she was screaming at me.. "WHY IS THIS GODDAM FLOOR SO SLIPPERY? WHAT DID YOU DO?" I decided that because it was right in front of the refrigerator that the fan that blows air.. must have made that part of the floor slippery.. Andy lived with those broken teeth for 3 years.. until he lost them.. and he started growing his two big front teeth. Now I don't know what they look like.. and forgive me for being upset.. at being yelled at today for not doing my part to get his teeth fixed..

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE DENTIST IS... I have nothing to be sorry for.. I have done nothing wrong.... I want to help Andy and get his teeth fixed.. but forgive me for never giving my ex wife money directly.. for never trusting her never.

I know.. the judge would tell me that I am to blame.. because I won't come to a compromise, because it does sound like I am just as angry.. and I am.. you cannot deal with someone that is irrational... a sociopath.. someone that is a pathological liar.

I probably sound harsh.. that these are the feelings that come up.. when my son has hurt himself..

I am sorry, I have been through a world of pain with that person, I get a knot in my stomach when I hear her voice on the phone.

I really want to see Andy right now. I want to tell him that it is going to be ok. I wish his mother and father could talk about it... I wish that she would be reasonable. She is playing games instead.. trying to play games again.. trying to lay the background for guilt. I know her too well.