Sunday

A rare weekend post.

The interview on Friday went very well and I know that I would love the job. I am really perfect for it, so if it doesn't happen, well... then I am meant to stay here.

I have a clear mind right now. I miss my boys. I am a good father, I just don't get the chance to do it very often.. to be a father. That is not my fault and I can't feel guilty about it. I feel at times that I don't fight hard enough.. that I haven't done enough, but I know that I have.. I know that fighting at this point.. is well.. pointless.

On Wed. I will have my 15 minutes in court... maybe.. I have this feeling that my ex wife won't be on the phone.. and then what? I don't know.. but maybe if she is.. the judge will tell her that she has been acting bad.. or maybe he'll tell us that we are both behaving badly.. that we need to communicate. I am prepared to make this my last conversation with this judge. Not that I am going to lose it.. but if he starts in on me.. I am going to tell him that I have NO control over this situation and to tell me that I am doing anything wrong is ridiculous.. I have tried to communicate and was directed to call her lawyer.. who quit her case because he... couldn't get her to call him back.

Enough... I feel that I should write a book for my boys... that if I do move that I will make it one of my goals.

Maybe I'll take some writing classes :) so I will know what I am doing. It will be good to share my story with my boys.. to let them know how much I love them and how much I will miss them if I leave Arizona.

On Friday, I had to go to a meeting for 3 hours on "how not to get burnt out at your job" Hey.. I have an idea... send us home early on Friday, instead of making us sit in a meeting room for 3 hours!!

One of the guys that was in there said that he is very excited to see his boys.. because his ex wife moved away a few years ago and now the kids were coming to visit.

hmmm... You know.. when you really pay attention to everything thing that happens around you, you really can learn a lot.

I am glad to have so many friends online. I am so happy for your support. Some of you have seen me go through this hell day after day.. week after week. I know some of you may be thinking.. How does his wife handle it? Well, she loves me.. and I do most of my venting right here :)

Not to her...

It has been a nice weekend. I really fixed up the backyard yesterday.. the weather has been ok.. only in the 90s.