Molly

Our dog Molly, started out afraid of the world.. including me.. especially me. She must have been abused before we got her. She still has moments of fear.. but she doesn't cower or hide anymore, instead she looks so happy to see us when we come home. She runs around the backyard as I chase her for a little bit. She jumps up and down like a puppy when she sees me pick up her leash and head towards the front door. I know that in her past, she must have been abused.. maybe by children because she is most afraid of the boys.. but she has even started to get used to them and sits near them when they are at the house.

But now, I see something else.. Molly get sad when we leave.. sure.. I know, she is a dog.. but she has the look of dissapointment. You know what it looks like if you have pets...she wants us to stay with her.. like we do on weekends.

It's strange, how we can be saddened more easily when we know what happiness is like. A heart can only truly break, only after it has felt love.

Today is Wed... and I have tried not to say much about how much I miss my boys.. between the times that I see them. I didn't talk about it with them this weekend... I think that for them.. they have already adapted. Alex is good at it... adapting to changes... seeing his Dad less and less.. Andy won't remember that we ever even had time together on weeknights...

I don't tell anyone how I feel... right now. It's no use.. what good would it do to whine to my fiancee about missing my boys. So, I will write it here.... there is a hole in my heart right now.. and tears could easily come to my eyes. Looking at the happy pictures of my boys as I try to stay busy so I don't think too much.. about it.. about how much I miss them.. about how special our weekends are now... maybe more special than ever.