The Gym

Last night I went to the gym. I become more motivated to push myself and to get my heart pumping when there are other people waiting for the same exercise machine. I go to the Red Mountain Multigenerational Center.

As you walk into the gym portion of the large building, you see the reason for the name.. it is truly multigenerational. There are seniors, middle aged people and high school aged kids. I guess the only generation that is missing is the 20 to 30 crowd that may be going to the gym for reasons other than working out. From my perch on top of the elliptical machine in the middle of the room, I can see everyone that comes ior goes.

Last night a group of high school aged school girls got my attention. They reminded me of the movies or a television show. Maybe they were all on the cheerleading squad together. One girl was waiting for them to show up and when she saw them coming up the stairs, she ran to them and hugged them, shouting that she had been waiting for "over 30 minutes". They were giddy and thin; one was too thin and looked as if she might have an eating disorder.

I went back to surveying the room, watching others. A few of the older men strut around, very proud of the work they have completed on their bodies. There are older couples walking slowly around the track or on the treadmill. There is this one man that walks with a very crooked walk. He probably is about my age.. His back is misshapen; his posture may be the result of a terrible back problem. Maybe he was in an accident, but he cannot straighten up. I have seen him at the gym for the past 3 years. He works out everyday, strengthening the rest of his body.

Fifteen minutes into my workout, I felt my heart start to strain, the machine had told me to pedal backwards and I was watching the screen, waiting for it to tell me to go the other way. When the machine told me that I was 60% complete, I felt a little relief.. 'More than half way there’.... I saw a women come into the gym that is very big. She has been coming for awhile, she has lost some weight; she is still working on it, still struggling. She hopped on the empty machine next to me and started very quickly. Inside, I felt a bit of competition. I don’t' know why, I felt that I should be going faster than her, that I should be pushing harder than her, but my heart felt as if it was going to burst so I slowed down. The girl that was watching the door walked by a couple of times.. she smiled at me. I was dripping with sweat. I am sure that my face was beet red and my breathing sounded like I was in labor... two breaths in and then I would push the air out. I wondered if she was checking on me, she doesn’t want someone keeling over in the gym on her watch.

I get in a rhythm my breath and the steps.. "Over 16 calories burned a minute.. .. Just keep it above that Chris...” I kept telling myself. I was woozy when I finished my 35 minute on the machine.. Over 500 calories burned, over 4000 steps taken.

I sat on the abs machine and noticed that the high school kids were all in a bunch now, around the obviously most popular girl. They were ignoring one girl, no one talked to her, but they talked to the guy she came with. She wasn't as skinny as the others. Her friend looked like he must be the class clown; he was wearing an all orange outfit, right down to the orange old school addidas. The popular girls were teasing him and he too ignored his friend for a moment. I thought to myself, that the girl that was being ignored was working harder than anyone, and she seemed to want to be accepted so much. I could almost hear her saying to herself.. “just keep it up, burn baby burn… ignore them”

The older couple on the treadmills kept their walk going and the crooked man moved on to the free weights.

I moved on to the free weights myself. I was trying to decide what my motivation for being at the gym was. Was I still trying to fit in? or, am I there for my health?

When I got home I took Molly for a walk. She loves her walks.. She bounces down the street, she smiles a doggy smile, happy to be out for a little while, seeing more of the world. I never really wanted to fit in, but I have never liked being bigger than everyone else either. I never liked wearing husky jeans or having to dig to the bottom of the pile of jeans at the gap to hope they had a size big enough for me.